Hi, friends!
As I have shared with many of you, I love to experiment with different poetic movements, forms, and stylings.
My writing is such a hodgepodge and melding of my love for Romantic, Modernist, and New Formalist movements in poetry.
I especially love poetry that varies rhyme, meter, rhythm.
My focus here was rhythm… the interjection of staccato 5/6-syllable lines against the 10-syllable primary lines in (mostly) imabic pentameter.
The effect (I hope!) is a sort of crescendo. The stanzas building from 4-lines to 5-lines to 6-lines; building a momentum to deliver the final line, which stands alone.
My questions… what was the impact of this rhythmic build? How did it make you feel? Did it deliver the theme in a way that emotionally resonated with you?
Let me know what you thought and felt in the Comments Section below. Thanks!
-PS Conway ☘ ☘ ☘
☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘
alone
buried my bride in a cold empty well
barren outside the cemetery gates
too poor for Church-laden funeral rites
echoes of obsequies lay her to rest
in sorrow’s thick hold i climbed a high hill
closer to heaven to know God could hear
how He stole my love
how He stole my life
how i was too poor to bury her right
moved by my elegy heaven hard wept
‘til the ground below grew deluged in flood
there swelled such a lake
that swallowed the well
that swallowed the world
stranding me high on a tear-formed island
alone with my reproach
I thought it worked the build up from despair to reproach to sorrow in the aloneness of grief.
Beautiful comment, Marianne. Thanks so much. 💙🙏🍷🌹
Great work, PS! The lines broken up into varied, yet patterned, syllables resulted in a strong delivery of this sad, unfortunate tale, which resulted in a powerful delivery of your final line. Well done!
Cheers, PS! Thanks so much! 💙🌹🍷🙏✨
Very well written! I liked this style of writing. The title fit perfectly as well. 🌷
So appreciated! Thanks very much. 🍷💙🙏
Yes the quickening of pace worked to create a tempestuous finish. I like the image of the grave and landscape being swallowed whole by his grief. Well done Pat!
Awesome!! Thanks so much for the comment, Naomi. Love it. 🪦🙏🍷🌹💙
Stunning! My heart leapt and was torn apart at the first utterance. Heartbreaking and breathtaking! Hardly adequate words. Thank you!
Wow. Thank you so much, Sha! Thrilled the poem had such a visceral effect on you. 💙🙏🍷✨
Moved me to tears
Thanks for sharing your reaction to the poem, Pat. 💙🍷🙏✨
I really like this one.
I’m so appreciative! Thanks, cheers! 💙🌹🍷🙏✨