alone

Hi, friends!

As I have shared with many of you, I love to experiment with different poetic movements, forms, and stylings.

My writing is such a hodgepodge and melding of my love for Romantic, Modernist, and New Formalist movements in poetry.

I especially love poetry that varies rhyme, meter, rhythm.

My focus here was rhythm… the interjection of staccato 5/6-syllable lines against the 10-syllable primary lines in (mostly) imabic pentameter.

The effect (I hope!) is a sort of crescendo. The stanzas building from 4-lines to 5-lines to 6-lines; building a momentum to deliver the final line, which stands alone.

My questions… what was the impact of this rhythmic build? How did it make you feel? Did it deliver the theme in a way that emotionally resonated with you?

Let me know what you thought and felt in the Comments Section below. Thanks!

-PS Conway ☘ ☘ ☘

☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘

alone

buried my bride in a cold empty well

barren outside the cemetery gates

too poor for Church-laden funeral rites

echoes of obsequies lay her to rest

in sorrow’s thick hold i climbed a high hill

closer to heaven to know God could hear

how He stole my love

how He stole my life

how i was too poor to bury her right

moved by my elegy heaven hard wept

‘til the ground below grew deluged in flood

there swelled such a lake

that swallowed the well

that swallowed the world

stranding me high on a tear-formed island

alone with my reproach

14 comments

  1. I thought it worked the build up from despair to reproach to sorrow in the aloneness of grief.

  2. Great work, PS! The lines broken up into varied, yet patterned, syllables resulted in a strong delivery of this sad, unfortunate tale, which resulted in a powerful delivery of your final line. Well done!

  3. Yes the quickening of pace worked to create a tempestuous finish. I like the image of the grave and landscape being swallowed whole by his grief. Well done Pat!

  4. Stunning! My heart leapt and was torn apart at the first utterance. Heartbreaking and breathtaking! Hardly adequate words. Thank you!

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