Hello, friends!
This week’s poem was a fun exercise in emotional design and construction.
It was originally entitled “in the dark of night” due to that phrase repeating through each stanza of the piece.
But when the closing line was written, my poet heart fluttered, and a new title emerged. Plus, pretty words aside, it really did more lyrically capture the true theme of loss/grief best (at least for me).
See if you can discover the poem buried within the poem (hint: last 2 words of the 1st line of each stanza; 10 words that pack the true emotional wallop when read alone)…
I hope you enjoy this poem. It is quite sad and dark, so be warned. Please share your thoughts/feelings in the Comments Section below.
-PS Conway ☘ ☘ ☘
☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘
echoes lost in stars
park bench in the dark of night, moonless sky
of myriad stars
sparkle far away
white mist in the dark of night, shallow breaths
of air yet conceal
what Death reveals hence
black thoughts in the dark of night, waking dream
of you by my side
returned to bide here
grave oaths in the dark of night, thousand deaths
of agony born
if not to mourn you (still)
park bench in the dark of night, nothing here
of our Life except
echoes lost in stars
Love the use of external/internal rhyme (not really sure what to call it, since it’s rhyming the last word of a line [external] with a not-the-last word of a line [internal]).
Anyway, I assume you did this to create an echo effect, and it works wonderfully!
Love when readers see the intention in my poetry! A lot of time and thought goes into those nuances. Thanks so much, Daniel. 🙏🏻🍷✨
I love the structure you’ve used here, to incredible effect. Wonderful write PS!
Thank you, Anne! So happy you enjoyed it. 🙏🏻🍷🌹✨
Emotionally stirring piece…LOVED reading the right words alone, your poem within a poem!!! So dark and soul penetrating!!! This is a favorite for me, PS!!!
PS! You know it’s one of the highlights of my week when I get the news I did good from you, my wonderful friend! Cheers 🙏🏻💙🌹🍷✨
I actually got chills at the last line. I always love your imagery and style.
I love it! Thank you, Emily… cannot think of much higher praise. 🙏🏻🌹🍷💙✨
At first I thought it was about a lost spouse but on second reading I think it’s about a stillborn child. Very sad and dark. Well done man.
Love it! I think there is room for a lot of open interpretation in this poem, my friend. Thank you! 💙🙏🏻🍷🌹✨