echoes lost in stars

Hello, friends!

This week’s poem was a fun exercise in emotional design and construction.

It was originally entitled “in the dark of night” due to that phrase repeating through each stanza of the piece.

But when the closing line was written, my poet heart fluttered, and a new title emerged. Plus, pretty words aside, it really did more lyrically capture the true theme of loss/grief best (at least for me).

See if you can discover the poem buried within the poem (hint: last 2 words of the 1st line of each stanza; 10 words that pack the true emotional wallop when read alone)…

I hope you enjoy this poem. It is quite sad and dark, so be warned. Please share your thoughts/feelings in the Comments Section below.

-PS Conway ☘ ☘ ☘

☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘

echoes lost in stars

park bench in the dark of night, moonless sky

of myriad stars

sparkle far away

white mist in the dark of night, shallow breaths

of air yet conceal

what Death reveals hence

black thoughts in the dark of night, waking dream

of you by my side

returned to bide here

grave oaths in the dark of night, thousand deaths

of agony born

if not to mourn you (still)

park bench in the dark of night, nothing here

of our Life except

echoes lost in stars

10 comments

  1. Love the use of external/internal rhyme (not really sure what to call it, since it’s rhyming the last word of a line [external] with a not-the-last word of a line [internal]).

    Anyway, I assume you did this to create an echo effect, and it works wonderfully!

    1. Love when readers see the intention in my poetry! A lot of time and thought goes into those nuances. Thanks so much, Daniel. 🙏🏻🍷✨

  2. Emotionally stirring piece…LOVED reading the right words alone, your poem within a poem!!! So dark and soul penetrating!!! This is a favorite for me, PS!!!

    1. PS! You know it’s one of the highlights of my week when I get the news I did good from you, my wonderful friend! Cheers 🙏🏻💙🌹🍷✨

  3. At first I thought it was about a lost spouse but on second reading I think it’s about a stillborn child. Very sad and dark. Well done man.

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