a mournful letter to Van Gogh, returned to sender

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Well hello there, my delightful digital friends. Join me for a poetry reading in Provence, where Van Gogh’s Yellow House waits for us with decaying sunflowers in a vase. 🌻

After reading this week’s poem, if you’re so inclined, feel free to scroll down and check out some of the things happening in my world as I continue these adventures in writing.

Now, for some new poetry….

This week’s poem came a few weeks after my father died.

He loved goldfinches. Before grief took over, this was simply one of the sweet facts about him. A man can love a bird without making a whole theological production out of it. Then he dies, and suddenly every small yellow critter in the yard is reporting for duty as an emotional support apparition.

Dad always said grief is love with no place to go.

I used to think that was beautiful. I still do. I also think grief has terrible aim. It does not always go somewhere noble. Sometimes it goes into a coffee mug, a song on the radio, an old chair, a bird feeder, a Tuesday afternoon you had the audacity to hope might pass quietly.

That may be what this poem is really circling…

After someone so beloved dies, the things they cherished do not remain ordinary. They transform into little shrines you did not build and cannot avoid. The goldfinch becomes more than a goldfinch. It carries memory, tenderness, resentment, awe, and those strange private arguments we keep having with the dead.

That’s why Van Gogh felt especially relevant.

He entered the poem because yellow has never seemed simple to me. In his paintings, yellow is never simple, never just cheer. It can be fever, devotion, sunlight, madness, hunger, a sunflower staring too long at god. It can hold beauty and anguish in the same small blaze.

Maybe grief is love with no place to go. Maybe this poem is one imperfect place I made for it.

As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts, feelings, and reactions to this week’s poem in the “Leave a Reply” comment section at the very bottom of this page.

-PS Conway 🌻 🌻 🌻

An artistic representation of a sunflower, showcasing vibrant yellow petals and a textured brown center, accompanied by an excerpt of poetry reflecting on themes of loss and nature.

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a mournful letter to Van Gogh, returned to sender

hard to get out of bed today –
all the goldfinches are dead, god knows why,
my backyard littered with tiny yellow corpses.
i would imagine
from a distance,
witnessed by a post-impressionist,
they would appear a field of yellow flowers.

gravity’s tug is strong on a soul, isn’t it, Vincent?
an anchor in an air-bound sea,
thick with the humidity of exhalation.
so many living things
forsake themselves
to feed the trees.
so why did the goldfinches have to die?

in the dark of my bedroom there is solace.
in the dark of my heart, a sermon of resentment refrains.

i wish i could become a goldfinch,
to pray in the forgotten language of birds.
song as invocation,
honoring the agony of creation –
to greet the dawn with the awe of skylarks,
crested in feathered crowns,
offering hymns at heaven’s locked gates.

melancholy wears so many resplendent shades of gray;
it has never known the subtleties of yellow.
to a true artist’s eye,
it is sunshine
mirrored in the sweet brown eye of a sunflower,
full of devotion’s endless ache,
and whatever beauty such longing once claimed.

🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻

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This Week’s Links to My Published Work…

Media News…

*NEW* My interview with Steve Cuden for his brilliant podcast StoryBeat – what a great conversation! https://www.storybeat.net/p-s-pat-conway-poet-episode-395/

*NEW* My interview with Editor-in-Chief, Gabriela Marie Milton of Literary Revelations Publishing House: https://literaryrevelations.com/2026/01/25/the-portrait-of-a-poet-ps-conway/  

*NEW* My interview with author Tricia Copeland on her podcast Finding the Magic Book is now available to watch: https://youtu.be/NhieYECI-H4  

Latest Publication News 

It has been a productive last few months for me. 12 POEMS published. If you are interested in a reading any of these, I have embedded the Amazon links below.

  1. My 5 untitled haiku have been published in the haiku anthology, Haiku for Soulmates, published by the brilliant and award-winning Gabriela Marie Milton and Literary Revelations Publishing House. This is a gorgeous book – click on the title for the Amazon link.
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  2. My poem mercy were published in The Ekphrastic Review on May 12. They are a literary “online journal devoted entirely to writing inspired by visual art. Their objective is to promote ekphrastic writing, promote art appreciation, and experience how the two strengthen each other and bring enrichment to every facet of life.”
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  3. My 3 poems – the wet centre is bottomless, laugh tracks, and three flights away – were published in Mouthful of Salt in Issue #3 on April 27. They are “a Black-led literary journal dedicated to bold, boundary-pushing storytelling. Our editorial vision is shaped by a wide range of lived experiences, and we are committed to creating a space where writers from across the globe can be seen, heard, and celebrated.”
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  4. My poem the color of staying was published in the Spring’26 edition of PHIL LIT Journal on March 15. This literary journal “promotes writing that engages with philosophical, metaphysical, ethical, & existential themes; without sacrificing beauty, craft, surprise, or risk.” Please be sure to check it out.
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  5. I have 2 poems – paint and i have seen love do the same – published in The Belfast Review, Winter/Spring 2026. Based in the north of Ireland, this gorgeous emerging literary magazine, in addition to poetry, “aims to create a dialogue between the arts, featuring genres not usually included in literary journals such as song lyrics, plays, screenplays, and hybrid forms, to better reflect the lived experience of art, the self, and the city.”

Latest News – Life Sucks…

So far, Life Sucks has received many ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Editorial Reviews. More to come soon.

I’m anticipating a whole bunch of solid Reader Reviews to begin populating Amazon in the next few weeks, too. The goal is to get to 50 Reader Reviews ASAP to kick Amazon’s promotion engine into a higher gear.

Speaking of Editorial Reviews, we secured a BIG ONE – BookLife. This is the indie press division of Publishers Weekly and represents a major credibility lift to my published work. Here is a link, in case you’re interested in reading the entire review:

https://booklife.com/project/life-sucks-memories-and-introspections-during-the-great-covid-lockdown-101267

And here are a few other snippets of other editorial reactions so far!

– “Snort-laughs and gasp-worthy wit – PS Conway goes there, and it’s hilarious.”

– “A must-read for anyone stressed, cynical, or just in need of a damn good laugh.”

– “Darkly funny, brutally honest, and weirdly comforting – like therapy, but with colonoscopies.”

🌻 COME BACK EACH WEEK FOR NEW POETRY 🌻

2 comments

  1. Your poem shows how heavy and exhausting sadness can feel. Finding beauty in the dead birds is a way to cope with that deep pain. It reminds us that even in the dark, we still long for light. Remarkable work! 👏

    Reply

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